Triathlete!

From far away, I heard a noise. I had no idea where it was coming from nor where I was, but it kept getting louder. Forcing myself to think, I grabbed my phone and turned it off, realizing I was in the basement of Suzanne's house and that it was 5am. For some reason, I was going to drag myself off of that bed and within the next thirty minutes, I would be on the road, venturing down to Yuba Lake.

"Who the hell convinced me to do a triathlon?" I wondered as I got out of Suzanne's truck into the crisp morning air. Michelle had told me about it and so had Christopher. I think I had just nodded my head at both of them. Chris sent me the website information and I looked at the specks for Camp Yubatri. .5 mile swim - I had a pool growing up, 12 mile bike ride - I could ride a bike, 3 mile run - I used to do that a lot when I lived in Seattle. I can totally be a triathlete. So I signed up.

I could see my breath. We all got in the water at 8:15am. I had rented a wet suit and was amazed that I couldn't feel the chill in the water all over my body. It actually wasn't that bad, Chris and Michelle didn't have wetsuits, but I was still glad I had one because it would keep me afloat. The alarm sounded and we were off. There was no turning back now, except to failure. But it was weird. The suit felt foreign on me, I couldn't see where I was going, there were people everywhere, my feet kept floating to the top. All of a sudden, I couldn't take a deep breath. The wetsuit was too constricting. I saw Suzanne and she helped me unzip it so that I could inhale and then continued on my way. These are the things that I thought: Why were those friggin' buoys so far away. Why did it smell like fish? Why could I not stop swallowing fishy water? Why was everyone going faster than me? Where did all those cute guys go that I saw at the beginning? I can't stop now or else I will drown. It sure is pretty out here. I wish I could go camping here.

Eventually I made my way through the swimming portion and staggered out of the water to my bike for the biking portion. The night before my gears stopped working on my bike and Jake was kind enough to lend me his bike. The gears on his bike worked great, it was just a good twenty pounds heavier than the bike I was used to. I managed to lug it off the bike rake and wander over to the starting area. Yet again, I was off. Riding, riding, riding. Two people whizzed past me. This was okay, I wasn't that good of a bicyclist. Then I heard an ee-er, ee-er, ee-er noise and a big fat girl flew past me. Great. Then about ten more people went by. At about a quarter of the way through the ride, I started seeing the other triathletes on their way back to the base area. "Oh, nice," I thought, "I must be close to the turn-around area." Michelle shouted encouragement and waved to me as she breezed by me in the opposite direction. And then they were gone. The clump of riders that I had started the race with had sailed past. It was just me and the land. Me and the mountains. Me and the sunflowers. I got the the overpass over I-15, about 5 miles from the beginning spot. Not much further now. Only that last mile seemed to take forever. I got to the turnaround spot and finally got to breeze past the people behind me. All three of them. The first was a young guy, the second a 50 year old obese guy and the third an old lady. The young guy quickly eclipsed me and I thought, "Well, at least I'm still 3rd to last. Then at about three-fourths of the way through, I heard some weezing. "Heee, heee, heeee, hoooo, ungh, hoo hoo..." It was the 50 year old guy huffing and puffing past me. I realized that my heart wasn't even beating fast at this moment, I was just physically in pain. My crotch hurt, my legs hurt, I was still wondering why in the world I ever chose to put myself through this course. Then the old lady past me. Last. I was dead last. Son of a bitch. I had told myself that I would probably come in last, but I was just sort of kidding. But there it was, the truth of the matter, reverberating in my brain. Last. Loser. Unhealthy people were beating me. What was wrong with me? 

But then I got to the end of the bike ride. I was two-thirds of the way through. I saw Christopher wandering around the bike area. He had finished the running part already. It looked like Michelle had just finished as well. I wobbled over to my bike area and heaved my bike up onto the rake, found my ipod and started back up again. My biggest mistake was not stopping at that moment and going to the bathroom. I could have at least ran the next 3 miles without pee-pee jiggling in my bladder. But I had to keep going and I was wearing a swimsuit and it's just so uncomfortable to take off your swimsuit in the bathroom. So I kept on going. The first mile, I actually ran pretty much the whole way and saw Suzanne pass by me on her way back. I got to the place where they give you water and TRICKSTERS! I still had to go another mile. In the dirt. I saw cows off to the right of me grazing in the field. I thought it would be awesome and make a good story if one of them tried to charge me, but they were a ways away. I managed to get back to the road part without stumbling over the rocks in the dirt part and ventured back. The last eighth of a mile, I decided to run, just so that I could have put a little effort into it. I saw the old lady ahead of me again, running the whole way. As I neared the finish line, I saw Jed and Suzanne and Michelle. They were so nice and cheered me on. I passed the timer over the meter and it was finished. 

Now some of you may wonder what I have done with the real Cindy Ferguson. Where is the girl who would rather go to the movies than on a hike? Where is the girl who made up a time on her Physical Fitness exam in college rather than run a whole mile? She's still here, don't you worry. I'd still rather go to a movie than hiking most days and I probably still wouldn't run that mile. But I think I'd like to go back to Yuba next year and see if I can smoke that old lady.

Thanks to Michelle, Chris and Suzanne for being awesome. 

Update: The Yubatri Sprint results are in! I got second to last place! Woo hoo! 

Michelle just posted her version of the race. It is far more upbeat than mine! Here are some of her pictures from before, during and after: